kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy’s gonna add another ‘hey there delilah’ to the sex playlist
why do you guys only like my bad posts
(via warpedlamp)
becca/22/bi/♎ i do a lot of stupid shit
kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy’s gonna add another ‘hey there delilah’ to the sex playlist
why do you guys only like my bad posts
(via warpedlamp)
rip me its been seven years and i still read hoofbeats as hoofbeasts
my brother started calling our cat “doobie brother” which he then lengthened to “dubious brother” and has since morphed into “brother dubious” like he’s some sort of fucked up little monk
brother dubious
(via fightclub1999enjoyer)
Super disappointed to find out this is talking about a particularly warm current and not a powerful Weather Ape
(via proxyphoenix)
it’s always kind of funny to me when people insist that honesty is a virtue and you should always tell the truth because being good at lying is something that’s been almost universally celebrated for thousands of years by pretty much all of humanity. like there are literally multiple folk tales and legends throughout history and across cultures that involve the hero tricking their adversary in order to win, and it’s usually considered a disadvantage to mythical creatures such as faeries that they can’t say things that aren’t true.
lying to cops is an act of classical heroism
(via fightclub1999enjoyer)
https://www.are.na/block/5491592
Cyclosophoroheneicosaose
(via escapedmace)
putting tergent and fabric roughener in my washing machine to make my clothes dirtier and more unseemly
(via fightclub1999enjoyer)
everyone on this website except me needs to shut up
*sticks to you*
everyone on this website except me and this swag ass lizard needs to shut up
(via fightclub1999enjoyer)